I found out this is deeper that I thought. He relapsed not long after he started this journey. Was never truly sober. He lies, he fantasizes about other women, he watches sex scenes in shows and movies, he purposefully looks for nudity in shows and movies. This is not all he's doing. He lies constantly even to our pastor. He manipulates constantly. His accountability partner has given up on him and the pastor keeps canceling appointments with him. He commits all 7 of the deadly sins DAILY. He does not care not one bit the impact he has and me and our 3 girls. He's very self centered. He thinks he's God's gift to the world. I've started questioning if God's punishing me. He's extremely awful to me in many many ways. I just want it to stop. I do not have the financial means to leave right now and I'm not going to have them anytime soon. I'm sorry I'm just venting and I just need to get it all out to people that understand.