Hi, we're new here. Well, again... we deleted the app a couple years ago when we felt ready for that step. Hello again!
It wasn't until a couple years after discovering my spouses addiction, probably because I had a better understanding of how deep and complex it actually was, that I also realized I was a codependent. Suddenly I discovered this twisted part of me that was both devastated and sometimes purposely pushing buttons to get my "needs" met. (Hence username) With that awareness we were able to bring our relationship and issues around this to a healthier place - and deleted the app.
This past December we had a serious crisis hit, and it left my spouse alone for an entire month... Perfect relapse storm. I came home angry and fell along into the cycle like we never left. This triggered new accountability verification needs and redownloading the app. Perhaps we're unusual in our needs from this service, or maybe not, idk. I just hope we can break the cycle again... but the crisis from December isn't complete and it snowballed other problems... so maybe I should say that I hope we make it through it all.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for sharing this! One thing I could advise is "always be aware" even after years of not going back to it. Its a bit different, but there are several communes for drug addicted people and I know for a fact that half of the people that come out of it after like 5-6 years go straight back to drug abuse. Very rarely does someone go to the commune for less than 2 years and comes out stronger. I know of people who even after 20 years go back to drugs. Porn is a drug and you must always be aware of yourself, thats why having a partner is better for battling it, you can keep yourself and him accountable in every situation. I don't think and don't believe there will be a point where you could say "Yup, I will never come back to this" because you don't know what the future holds(I hope that its only good things for you two), but one crisis could nudge you in the wrong direction.
So you have fallen, the wall is broken. Start building it togather, not alone. Two workers(you may add 3-4-5) are better than one. You probably know that this won't be easy, but the good news is that it won't be easy only in the beginning. Previously I was battling obesity and it was very hard to stop easting certain foods...but only for the first month, after that it was easy-peasy. I hope for the better for you two...as @Strider said its a learning oportunity and even more than that - when you break your arm the healed bone is stronger than before the break.
So you have fallen, the wall is broken. Start building it togather, not alone. Two workers(you may add 3-4-5) are better than one. You probably know that this won't be easy, but the good news is that it won't be easy only in the beginning. Previously I was battling obesity and it was very hard to stop easting certain foods...but only for the first month, after that it was easy-peasy. I hope for the better for you two...as @Strider said its a learning oportunity and even more than that - when you break your arm the healed bone is stronger than before the break.
by etto 484d 7h 52m ago
Thank you for sharing! It's an unfortunate monster you have to crush to overcome these habits/addictions. So many emotions get involved making it extremely soul wretching for everyone too.
I want to point out though that what may seem like a bad thing, is actually a learning opportunity. People need guard rails in life to protect them against their own worst self. Apps like Truple can act as one of these guard rails. Everyone wants to get to the point they can live without guardrails, but sometimes getting to that poiny requires trying, "failing", learning to account for the failure, then trying again. Sometimes repeated many many times, until "tadahhh!" you make it.
Don't give up. Keep being smart about it. You aren't alone, though everyone's circumstances are unique. Thank you for sharing!
I want to point out though that what may seem like a bad thing, is actually a learning opportunity. People need guard rails in life to protect them against their own worst self. Apps like Truple can act as one of these guard rails. Everyone wants to get to the point they can live without guardrails, but sometimes getting to that poiny requires trying, "failing", learning to account for the failure, then trying again. Sometimes repeated many many times, until "tadahhh!" you make it.
Don't give up. Keep being smart about it. You aren't alone, though everyone's circumstances are unique. Thank you for sharing!
by strider 492d 20h 5m ago