We're on the road to reconciliation but how do you keep yourself from checking this app to a point where you get sick. I know people will say things will get better. . . But this is literal emotional hell.
The biggest mistake I made was to think I was so much more healed and ahead of my partner that I was able to oversee his recovery. This is not just some problem that will go away with time, avoidance, or monitoring. It will take work on both ends. The best gift to yourself is to let go of monitoring him and ensuring he is doing what he is supposed to, because technically that's not even accountability, and focus on what you are doing, or not doing, that is keeping you in this awful place. I understand your pain and what you mean here. I was making myself sick about it, and when I got rid of the app on my phone and told him he needed to get serious in recovery, or I am done...meaning find an accountability partner for real. And both seeing individual therapists before seeing a couple therapist. going to meetings. the list goes on... But this is supposed to be a path towards light. not dark. Happiness, not pain. Keep pushing and make sure you're both pushing in the same direction, sending my love! and support!
by feellikefalling0523 47d 22h 21m ago
If you're religious you may be able to go to your church leadership for pastoral care. They may have someone that can be an accountability partner for him! Good luck! It is miserable especially the first year.
by PurpleLily 128d 12h 4m ago
If you're a spouse or romantic partner you shouldn't be the accountability partner if you're finding it impacts you negatively. In some situations it works well, but for others it doesn't. No shame saying "this isn't working for me". The challenge can be finding someone else to act as an accountability partner.
Remember to take care of yourself. You need healing too.
Remember to take care of yourself. You need healing too.
by strider 175d 11h 23m ago