Hello,
Prepare for a very long post/rant/vent… sorry.
This is the second time my partner and I have agreed to use this service to keep him accountable and off porn.
The first time we used the service, he had just gotten a new phone (google pixel), but had a very smashed iPhone10 that he was using before (which he used for porn and ultimately lead us to this service after asking multiple times per year to stop).
When I locked down all consoles/devices in our household (using truple/passkeys), I was foolish and hadn’t given much thought about the old smashed iPhone of his on top of the fridge. I would eventually get to that (I tried to turn it on to change the passcode the same day after locking other devices down, it didn’t turn on so I put it back where it lay on top of the fridge). It barely worked. I thought we’d set up truple and that would be it.
Then, I somehow forgot about it after all was set up. I was in a new honeymoon phase after starting truple since I could know exactly what he was doing on his phone. Peace of mind.
Then it hit me.
The old iPhone.
It wasn’t on top of the fridge anymore. I questioned him about its whereabouts since it had only been about 2 1/2 days after installing truple and locking down other devices that it had went missing from my eyes.
He said
“I had to take it with me to work to use my Rbc and transfer money because it’s what has my logins on it”….”when it didn’t work I just threw it into a dumpster, it’s gone, don’t worry about it”
I cried. I couldn’t contain myself. The fact that even if that is the truth, he didn’t have a single thought to think I would like to see and make sure a device that he had used to burn me multiple time prior, was destroyed, with evidence to show me. Nope, just his word, AFTER being asked about it. Not even a week after catching him saving 8+hours of porn to his camera roll.
Fine okay, if that is the truth. But I got very upset with him since I will NEVER know the full truth about it. I still think it’s hidden around the house somewhere. I’ve seen my apple lightning charger move places (he has no reason to move it since he uses google pixel). But when I called that out, it has never moved again. I still think he’s went out of his way to get a secret charger for that device, but I’m unsure and can’t prove anything.
This was about two (1/2?) months ago. I always fear that he is just playing me like a fool and using that phone hidden somewhere when I am out of the house.
Can someone please give me any insight on what their situation with something like was?
My advice would be if it's a device that's not on a network and just being used via wifi (can't work without wifi) I'd get a router that has an app so you can see what devices are on the wifi, when, how much they're being used, etc. And you can lock that device out of the wifi. I personally like the plume wifi6 mesh routers. They're great for everything listened above and can handle massive amount of devices without any latency etc. I can freeze devices with a button or unfreeze. Or even set a schedule so they're only used at certified times and I don't even have to think about it. Good luck! I hope things workout for you! You're not a fool.
by PurpleLily 9d 5h 7m ago
I'm sorry this happened to you, I would be absolutely livid if my pornaddict husband did this. I can actually relate a bit because an old phone that we had went missing after a big move. But I simply don't have enough evidence to assume it was him that made it go missing. I'm hoping it pops up one day.
I reccomend he start seeing a CSAT and then eventually yall need a full disclosure. In this disclosure you need to have a polygraph where you ask him specifically about this phone
Also check his Google account activity. It tells you recent logins and what device was used to login with. If he ever logged into his Google accounts on this iPhone, and is still using this iPhone without factory resetting it or logging out, Google will tell you that there has been recent activity on an iPhone 10 using that Google account.
Also, check router activity. You can see devices that are on it. Turn notifications on your phone so you can get notified when a new device is added.
I would even go as far to check work bags to see if he ever brings it home for some reason. Chances of this would be higher if he ever goes a long period of time away from work, for example.
I reccomend he start seeing a CSAT and then eventually yall need a full disclosure. In this disclosure you need to have a polygraph where you ask him specifically about this phone
Also check his Google account activity. It tells you recent logins and what device was used to login with. If he ever logged into his Google accounts on this iPhone, and is still using this iPhone without factory resetting it or logging out, Google will tell you that there has been recent activity on an iPhone 10 using that Google account.
Also, check router activity. You can see devices that are on it. Turn notifications on your phone so you can get notified when a new device is added.
I would even go as far to check work bags to see if he ever brings it home for some reason. Chances of this would be higher if he ever goes a long period of time away from work, for example.
by Rachel 21d 15h 31m ago
Does the iphone have mobile data? If not, some wifi routers allow you to see how many devices (and sometimes what type of device it is) that are connected to wifi through it.
These are very difficult situations. Counseling/therapy could be helpful. There's also support groups that meet regularly. Going is good for both of you. If he's willing to go thats a good sign too.
These are very difficult situations. Counseling/therapy could be helpful. There's also support groups that meet regularly. Going is good for both of you. If he's willing to go thats a good sign too.
by strider 27d 8h 18m ago